redvsyou:

What? I meant why are we out here in this canyon?

(via thegavichal)

leavingbones-exposed:

joelmillers:

coldwarqueer:

in russian they dont say “i love you” they say “пожирать плоть капиталистов” which means “we are one and the same” and i think thats beautiful

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even better

(via ronald--kun)

jolly-old-owlgoggles20:

thebucketless13:

dr-amy:

miniprancer:

scarincissies:

misuse-of-fandom:

So I got a detention today.

Which is kinda dumb because I’m (mostly) a model student, you know? And get this - Heres what Im in for: I said…*whispers* a swear word in class. 60 minutes of punishment for the phrase: “That’s really shitty.”

So this is how it went down: I’m sitting in math class last hour before break and my teacher hands me a little slip saying that i gotta go see the vice principal. And im thinking, “damn, i thought she forgot about that.” The horrible cuss word was uttered a few days beforehand and, well, i figured she didnt even remember. I walk down there (in my full-body cat kigurumi btw) and mrs. Whatever isnt there. So i mull around and steal a candy cane off the offices mini fake tree (Im already in trouble anyways so gotta go big or go home) until finally, i talk to the desk lady who calls the vice principal down. We walk into the room and start to have a chat about how our high school doesnt tolerate swears bluh bluh etc and that i should find alternatives to cussing. Thats where this picture comes in. This lady just fucking WHIPS this goddamn list out of nowhere and shows it to me in a completely serious manner. “Heres some examples of words you can use when you want to swear.” W H A T.

Goof nugget?
Sweet onions?
Shooby Darn???
Pokemon??????

And here she is in all seriousness and im trying not to laugh while asking if i can have a photocopy because this is actual comedic GOLD. This sort of phooey doesnt actually happen in real life, right? I mean holy snappin turtles what the frog is this Skikaka? Jumpin Jiminy, Public school is bogus!

what the William Shatner is going on here?!

I approve of these so hard

"Well doesn’t that just bruise your banana"

I use at least half of these around my family

"Oh for the love of Barbara Streisand."

I dunno what you’re going on about. This is actually pretty useful.

"You just failed your final exam"
"Oh SNAP!"

(via vavnoises)

bigdaddyjebus:

Look at how far we’ve come.

(Source: nothingbutgames, via vavnoises)

chicken-buddha:

you ignorant fool

(via smoshyzelda)

dildorrito:

what’s the password

(Source: tibets, via ronald--kun)

thatfunnyblog:

 

the new slogan for tumblr.com

i will not rest until this gets a million notes

(Source: d-ovahqueen, via ohsonostalgic)

(Source: sermerlins, via alekscareer)

» "Pizza" Party

(Source: mileslun, via thegavichal)

(Source: posthawk, via simply--just--me)

and-then-sara:

ruebird:

minishcap:

tfw your entire wrist rotates

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i’ll admit that the animation is pretty sus but

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nah son

Link you okay?

(via smoshyzelda)