"Ohhh yes, we have, we have quite a selection of ORphanS…"


What? I meant why are we out here in this canyon?

(via thegavichal)




in russian they dont say “i love you” they say “пожирать плоть капиталистов” which means “we are one and the same” and i think thats beautiful



even better

(via what--are-this)







So I got a detention today.

Which is kinda dumb because I’m (mostly) a model student, you know? And get this - Heres what Im in for: I said…*whispers* a swear word in class. 60 minutes of punishment for the phrase: “That’s really shitty.”

So this is how it went down: I’m sitting in math class last hour before break and my teacher hands me a little slip saying that i gotta go see the vice principal. And im thinking, “damn, i thought she forgot about that.” The horrible cuss word was uttered a few days beforehand and, well, i figured she didnt even remember. I walk down there (in my full-body cat kigurumi btw) and mrs. Whatever isnt there. So i mull around and steal a candy cane off the offices mini fake tree (Im already in trouble anyways so gotta go big or go home) until finally, i talk to the desk lady who calls the vice principal down. We walk into the room and start to have a chat about how our high school doesnt tolerate swears bluh bluh etc and that i should find alternatives to cussing. Thats where this picture comes in. This lady just fucking WHIPS this goddamn list out of nowhere and shows it to me in a completely serious manner. “Heres some examples of words you can use when you want to swear.” W H A T.

Goof nugget?
Sweet onions?
Shooby Darn???

And here she is in all seriousness and im trying not to laugh while asking if i can have a photocopy because this is actual comedic GOLD. This sort of phooey doesnt actually happen in real life, right? I mean holy snappin turtles what the frog is this Skikaka? Jumpin Jiminy, Public school is bogus!

what the William Shatner is going on here?!

I approve of these so hard

"Well doesn’t that just bruise your banana"

I use at least half of these around my family

"Oh for the love of Barbara Streisand."

I dunno what you’re going on about. This is actually pretty useful.

"You just failed your final exam"
"Oh SNAP!"

(via vavnoises)


Look at how far we’ve come.

(Source: nothingbutgames, via vavnoises)


you ignorant fool

(via smoshyzelda)


what’s the password

(Source: tibets, via what--are-this)



the new slogan for tumblr.com

i will not rest until this gets a million notes

(Source: d-ovahqueen, via ohsonostalgic)

(Source: sermerlins, via alekscareer)

» "Pizza" Party

(Source: mileslun, via thegavichal)

(Source: posthawk, via simply--just--me)